Post by: KATChuutRitt on February 21, 2003, 11:13:56 pm
"Why bother with it?", some kittens may ask.
The fate of the world is the issue at hand,
as felines worldwide stake a claim for their land.
Make no bones about it, we cats own the joint.
We spray in the corners to drive home the point.
Some say the meek shall inherit the Earth,
But they've no fangs or claws, for what that's worth.
The cat is the ultimate species, you see,
We're poised to usurp man's authority.
These silly old humans who cannot play nice!
We cats are peaceful, we hate only mice.
Just what does training your human entail?
A host of fun things you must do without fail:
The sofas and rugs need a little makeover.
The La-Z-Boy's target for kitty takeover.
Then sleep on clean towels placed in the guest bath.
And make their best clothing a target of wrath.
Tear down those new drapes with a quick forceful tug.
Then tatter the pile of the new berber rug.
And when they are sleeping, you block off their nose,
paw at their lower lip, chew on their toes.
Strut on the mantle. If they give any flack,
knock down their trophies and all bric-a-brac.
Shed on mom's new velvet black evening gown,
as she's headed out for a night on the town.
If they leave you home all alone for the night,
(Any human doing this can't be all that bright),
They're telling you by leaving, it's perfectly all right,
To totally redecorate 'til dawn's early light.
Knock over tables and chew up the fern.
Hurry, go faster! Soon, they'll return...
When they try to punish, you mustn't show concern.
(All attempts of discipline a pussycat should spurn).
A snide flick of tail will convey no remorse,
but they will try harder to scold you, of course!
So, hide in the closet until they forget,
and then launch out just like an F-14 jet.
Tear up their ankle, their forearm, their hand,
then when they've had all the pain they can stand,
dart from the room while they call 9-1-1,
and celebrate victory: The felines have won!
To humans, however, the battle's begun,
as they steep in their anger and wish for a gun.
Pathetic and lumbering and clumsy to boot,
My friend, human dominance is really a hoot.
Take charge in your home. It's destiny, meow.
(The verses above have already told how).
So sleep for an hour, and then grab some chow,
And then train your human, beginning right now.
Post by: FireSoul on February 22, 2003, 04:18:45 am
.. I *OWN* 2 cats.. not the other way around.
..
.. they *BEG* me for food.. and they do get it.. in dried form that is, the same day after day because that's the brand that keeps them healthy. Meanwhile, I enjoy eating as I wish.
Last but not least..
.. they can't leave the house. They'd get run over by cars.
heh..
.. dude, I fly Lyran, and you Kats need a slight ESG readjustment.
-- Luc
Post by: KATChuutRitt on February 22, 2003, 06:26:06 am
Quote:
..
heh..
.. dude, I fly Lyran, and you Kats need a slight ESG readjustment.
-- Luc
Well I'm sure the Kzin will be coming over to have a word with you, It shouldn't be to hard to locate you as Lyran space is clearly marked on our maps,........................................
Post by: KRolling on February 22, 2003, 06:26:23 am
Post by: KOTH-Steel Claw on February 22, 2003, 06:38:39 am
How can I prove what I am saying you ask? Ok, follow this as an example. I will place it in human terms.
A human has a cat in residence (the ultimate lifestyle for a human). The human goes off to toil 5 days a week, the cat stays home. The human must provide the cat with it's needs. It feeds the cat, it ensures that a litterbox is available for it's private and personal use. It ensures the cat has the opportunity to sleep a minimum of 12 hours a day. When the cat desires attention, the human supplies it (in the form of petting)(no, not that type!). The cat needs to sharpen its claws, the human provides either a scratching post or furniture/carpeting. The cat wants to go outside, the human plays doorman. The cat desires some 'nip, the human supplies it.
I hope this clears up any misconception about superiority. Thank you for your time.
Humbly yours,
rowr, fffffffffffft, ffffffffft,
SC
Post by: FireSoul on February 22, 2003, 06:53:36 am
Based on the bobcats, I believe?
-- Luc
Post by: KOTH-Steel Claw on February 22, 2003, 07:03:35 am
Post by: KATChuutRitt on February 22, 2003, 07:08:12 am
Quote:
Heh.. what's funny is that Lyrans are cats too.
Based on the bobcats, I believe?
-- Luc
Actually more similar to the Lynx
Post by: CubCarson on February 22, 2003, 08:18:52 am
http://208.57.228.3/ubb/Forum2/HTML/006106.html
About halfways down likkerpig explains your origins.
Thhhpt!
Post by: KATChuutRitt on February 22, 2003, 08:36:28 am
Quote:
Actually chutt, I could not let your lyran bashing go unanswered. After an exaustive search I found the thread that has the true story about the mirak.
http://208.57.228.3/ubb/Forum2/HTML/006106.html
About halfways down likkerpig explains your origins.
Thhhpt!
Quote:
Well there you go - The Origin of the Mirak by Likkerpig
---Likkerpig (from linked post)
I would expect nothing else from a group of Mirak that had Likkerpig as the source of their origin <shudders>, evolution from such ancesteral genes would produce some "challenged" specimens..........
Now if only he could post on these forums I could have a real "discussion" with him about the topic.
Post by: Green on February 22, 2003, 09:03:13 am
Post by: Red Kerensky on February 22, 2003, 12:11:39 pm
Post by: KOTH-Steel Claw on February 22, 2003, 01:48:05 pm
Post by: Red Kerensky on February 22, 2003, 06:05:31 pm
Oh yeah, we dont have a boarder with you, I forgot our boarder is a good 100 lightyears away from your boarder.
We need to get to expanding. So we can have a Kzin-Starleague Boarder.