Dynaverse.net
Off Topic => Ten Forward => Topic started by: AlienLXIX on December 16, 2004, 09:52:53 pm
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Aloha my bretheren! ;D
Sorry I haven't been on as often as I would like to be but since it is comming close to the holidays I haven't had time to do anything for myself . . .
But to honor the tradition of the upcomming festivals and whatnot I just want to share with you some of my favorite song titles! ;)
SCHIZOPHRENIA: Do You Hear What I Hear?
MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER: We Three Queens Disoriented Are
DEMENTIA: I Think I'll Be Home for Christmas
NARCISSISTIC: Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
MANIC: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and...
PARANOID: Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me
PERSONALITY DISORDER: You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell you Why
DEPRESSION: Silent Whatever, Holy Who Cares, All is Flat, All is Lonely
OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER: Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle, Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock. Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock.
PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PERSONALITY: On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me (and then took it all away).
BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER: Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
BTW would someone happen to have the words to Shaving Cream, Be Nice and Clean?
I do hope I will be on more often but if not then I'll be back in a week or two!
Love love to ya!
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To start with:
ARTIST: Benny Bell with Paul Wynn
TITLE: Shaving Cream
Lyrics and Chords
I have a sad story to tell you
It may hurt your feelings a bit
Last night when I walked into my bathroom
I stepped in a big pile of
/ C - - - / - - G7 - / - - C - / F G7 /
{Refrain}
Shaving cream, be nice and clean
Shave everyday and you'll always look keen
/ C - - - / F C G7 C /
I think I'll break off with my girlfriend
Her antics are queer I'll admit
Each time I say, "Darling, I love you"
She tells me that I'm full of
{Refrain}
Our baby fell out of the window
You'd think that her head would be split
But good luck was with her that morning
She fell in a barrel of
{Refrain}
An old lady died in a bathtub
She died from a terrible fit
In order to fulfill her wishes
She was buried in six feet of
{Refrain}
When I was in France with the army
One day I looked into my kit
I thought I would find me a sandwich
But the darn thing was loaded with
{Refrain}
And now, folks, my story is ended
I think it is time I should quit
If any of you feel offended
Stick your head in a barrel of
{Refrain}
An old favorite:
Let's talk dirty in hawaiin
By john prine and fred koller
Well, i packed my bags and bought myself a ticket
For the land of the tall palm tree.
Aloha, old milwaukee, hello, waikiki
I just stepped down from the airplane
When i heard her say,
"wacka, wacka, nooka likka,
Wacka, wacka, nooka likka,
Would you like a lei?"
Chorus:
Hey!
Let's talk dirty in hawaiin,
Whisper in my ear.
Kicka pooka mok a wa wahine
Are the words i lont to hear.
Lay your coconuta on my tiki,
What the hecka, mooka, mooka, dear,
Let's talk dirty in hawaiin,
Say the words i long to hear.
It's a ukelele, honolulu sunset
Listen to the grass skirts sway,
Drinkin' rum from the pineapple
Out on honolulu bay.
The steel guitars are playing
While she's talinkg with her hands,
"gimme, gimme oka-doka make a wisha wanna polka,"
Words i understand.
Chorus
Well, i boughta lotta junka with my moola,
And i sent it to the folks back home,
I never had a chance to dance the hula,
Well, i guess i should have known.
When you start talkin' to a sweet wahine,
Walkin' in the pale moonlight
Ohka noka whatta setta knocka-rocka sis-boom-boccas."
Hope i said it right.
Chorus
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Thanks for the words Cpt Mike! It's a little diffrent from the one I have heard on the Dr. Demento CD but it's still a cool one!
Truthfully that second song is so full of..... Shaving cream, be nice and clean Shave everyday and you'll always look keen! ;D
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You all know that I try to be helpfull and I got this list from my Aunty Hazel in Lost Wages, NV; I thought it had some really great holiday tips!
Holiday Eating Tips
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention.
Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.
Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"
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I used to have that song on an old 8-track. I loved that tape. It had everything. My Boomarang wont come back, My Ding-a-ling, The Streak, etc...
This little song, it aint so sad
Cutest little song I ever had
Those of you who will not sing
Ya must be playin' with your own Ding-a-ling
Your own Ding-a-ling, Your own Ding-a-ling
Ya must be playin' with your own Ding-a-ling
:o :lol:
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Sorry I couldn't find "I got my very first lei in Hawaii"....
heh Heh
Mike
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Ah, I recognize those words from a Hawaiian vacation I spent...
Isn't it..
Mele Kalikimaka is the thing to say
On a bright Hawaiin Christmas day
That's the Island greeting that we send to you
From the land where Palm trees sway
Here we know that Christmas will be green and bright
The sun to shine all day and all the stars at night
Mele Kalikimaka is Hawaii's way of Saying a Merry Christmas
A very merry Christmas
A very merry Christmas to you!
I think that's right isn't it?
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Bless Your Hearts Alien and Ferrit, That Pic Card you sent is adorable. Man It looks like the Boys are taller. Either that or you two are Shrinking. The First Pic On the Calandar, with the Water pouring off the mountains is Perfect. you knew I wanted to see that when Denny and I where there.
You two are the Best.
Stephen
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Had the pleasure of working with one truly twisted divorcee enviro lab tech, her maniacal personality was awesome to behold. She came up with a Jeffrey Dahmer tribute, "Chester's Nuts roasting on an open fire". Can't remember much of it but she'd have the lab staff rolling in fits of laughter as she belted this tune out. I miss her wit. :'(
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Hey Dash that's a good memory or did ya pull that off the net? But yeah that's the one Ferret and I learned when we were little alone with "On Da Firs' Day 'O Christmas My Tutu Give To Me" one Myna Bird on one Papaya Treeeeee and so on. Now it's my boys that sing all that!
Sirgod I am so glad it made it to you! is wasn't all bent up or torn was it?
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It was all from memory, wasn't certain how correct or not I got it. I haven't heard the papayaa tree one yet, I'd like to hear that one, or at least see the words typed out, then I can sing something else that will make my relatives think I'm more odd than the usual Irish kid! Plus good looking and cultured!
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Hey Dash that's a good memory or did ya pull that off the net? But yeah that's the one Ferret and I learned when we were little alone with "On Da Firs' Day 'O Christmas My Tutu Give To Me" one Myna Bird on one Papaya Treeeeee and so on. Now it's my boys that sing all that!
Sirgod I am so glad it made it to you! is wasn't all bent up or torn was it?
Not at all,It came just fine, and It's a Calander I can actually show to the public. ;D
Stephen
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I'll try to find the words for you Dash!
Here's a joke to liven up the stress:
A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service.
Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.
At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral...I'm a gynecologist."
That's when the proctologist fainted.
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Ouch!
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Dash, sorry about getting back to you AFTER Xmas but it's been busy here. :)
Anyway here it is but for some reason it's easer for me to remember the song starting from the 12th day.
On da 12th day of Christmas my Tutu geev to me
12 televisions
11 missionarys
10 cans of beer
9 pounds of poi
8 Hula lessons
7 fish are swimming
6 Ukuleles
5 big fat pigs
4 flower leis
3 dried squid
2 coconuts
and 1 myna bird in one papaya tree!
It is sung to the traditional tune.
Welp I'm off to bed to try and get over this nasty chest/throat thingy I have . . . ugh :P
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11 missionarys???
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:) Im just glad to hear from ya. I was getting worried about you guys, and was going to start asking around to see if you where OK.
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11 missionarys???
[/quotet]
No not the position! Ewww that would be Grandma (Tutu) doing eerrrr bad sick thought!
After Capt. James Cook "discovered" the Sandwich Islands (soooo glad that name didn't stick!) and it's inhabitants the Protestants found a calling to turn the Hawaiian heathens into Christians. Hence the Missionaries. Ahh enough of the history lessons for today! :P :D
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Ah, to bring christianity to the Isles of the Sea eh?
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Or kill off half of their population, with diseases they had no immunity to. It depends on how you look at it.
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And sadly both are very true! One perhaps without knowing it ...
Anyway without all that happening before I was born I might not be able to say I was born in a water locked state! Ahhhh white sand beaches! Maybe I could bake this illness out of me? :P
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And sadly both are very true! One perhaps without knowing it ...
Anyway without all that happening before I was born I might not be able to say I was born in a water locked state! Ahhhh white sand beaches! Maybe I could bake this illness out of me? :P
It all ways seems to work for me here. Sorry to hear you are feelling badly. :(